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Saturday, April 1, 2023

A Hamster in a Cage Trading Crypto Outperforms S&P 500 and Bitcoin

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Since June this year, a hamster in Germany has been assigned the task of trading cryptocurrencies. Dealing with real money, the hamster has done quite well and has outperformed the likes of Nasdaq, Bitcoin, and even Warren Buffet’s investment firm, Berkshire Hathaway, Business Insider reported

While humans debate the trade-offs of cryptocurrencies as a mode of exchange and even as in investment, a hamster and his unidentified human are showing the best way to deal with the volatile currency. The hamster named Mr. Goxx goes about his daily business of running on his wheel and spending time in his box while making decisions on the fly about which cryptocurrencies to buy, and which to sell.

Supporting him in his endeavor is the high-tech ‘office’ that his human has built around him. The wheel helps Mr. Goxx pick one of the 30 crypto coins he trades in, while the decision to buy or sell is determined by which ‘decision’ tunnel, Mr. Goxx runs through immediately next. While the purchase decision happens for a transaction worth €20 ($23) at a time, the ‘sell’ trigger liquidates all the assets held for the selected coin. Just in case, you are still thinking that this is some parody post, here’s the proof. Mr. Goxx has his own Twitch channel too and you can watch him trade live over there. 

Back in June, Mr.Goxx started off with a fund of $390. Mid-September his portfolio hit an all-time high of $580, reported Protos, a crypto-focused media outlet. Mr. Goxx’s return that time was a whopping 50 percent, much more than Bitcoin that had risen only 41 percent. Nasdaq, S&P 500, and Berkshire, on the other hand, offered far lower returns. 

After the recent dip in the crypto market, the value of his portfolio has shrunk a bit, but is still better than the others, as can be seen in the graph below. 

Source: Mr.Goxx/Twitter

Although the profits made so far are not even enough to cover the expenses done for the crypto-compatible office, Mr. Goxx’s performance at the day trading is quite exceptional. Protos reports that Mr. Goxx bought $23.79 worth of Dogecoin in July and sold it recently for $34.80 and made similar profits on Pantos and Chiliz cryptocurrencies. 

While impressive, Mr.Goxx’s Twitter channel sends out disclaimers with every tweet that the information provided must not be treated as financial advice and used purely for entertainment. Seriously, who takes financial advice from a running hamster


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